


I Said Young Man, Pick Yourself Off The Ground

by FredAndGinger



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe- Lifeguards, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, Kid Fic, also jean valjean has a lifetime ban from the pool, and happy, because javert is the head lifeguard, figuratively and literally, happy birthday roar, let them be happy god damn it, pools, the amis are little kids in swim lessons, this fic is a gift, who have a revolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 17:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5172350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FredAndGinger/pseuds/FredAndGinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in 1993 Jean Valjean is banned from his town's outdoor pool for trying to steal a pool noodle. In 2005, when trying to teach his daughter, Cosette, to swim, Enjolras and company decide to start a revolution in the pool. Javert is not at all happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Said Young Man, Pick Yourself Off The Ground

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpinalBaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpinalBaby/gifts).



> I'm pretty sure this was inspired by a tumblr post, but I'm a lifeguard and I may have just come up with it on my own because it's fab.
> 
> Happy birthday Rory! Belated birthday, actually. We were too busy watching Les Mis backwards for me to write this when I wanted to. 
> 
> Title from YMCA by The Village People

When Jean Valjean was a child he loved swimming. He would stay in the pool for hours, until his skin wrinkled like a pink raisin and his mother was yelling at him to come inside. Over the years his love for swimming never dissipated, and even as a teenager his favorite thing to do was goof around in the pool with his friends or his sister.

Until one day in July of 1993 he tried to steal a pool noodle from the equipment shed. He was young and being an idiot, but Javert, the head lifeguard, had seen him and issued a lifetime ban from the outdoor pool. 

…

Years went by and Javert never let the incident go. He left up a picture of Valjean, and updated it every time he caught him. The other guards thought it was hilarious, and one even let Valjean swim when Javert wasn’t there, only to be written up when Javert got back. So, reluctantly, the other guards kept him away. 

As the years passed, Jean Valjean fell in love with a wonderful woman named Fantine, and her little girl. When Cosette turned seven, Valjean started trying to sneak her into the pool with him, so he could teach her to swim and not be afraid of the water. Javert kicked them out every single time he tried to get them in, though, so that summer he wasn’t able to teach her. 

The next year he had a plan. He’d grown out a beard when before, and with great sadness he shaved the magnificent thing off of his face. He submitted an application for a new membership card under the name Madeleine.

So the next summer, 2005, Valjean took Cosette to the pool in June. Javert kept giving him these looks, like he thought he knew who the man was, but he never said anything. Cosette loved the pool, and there were a bunch of kids doing swim lessons every day, who were a perfect distraction for Javert. 

… 

“Guys.” Enjolras said to his friends one day after their lessons were over, “We should take over the pool.” 

At eight years old, Enjolras thought he had just had the most brilliant idea ever. 

“Yeah!” Courfeyrac cheered, grinning to show off his missing front tooth, “Yeah, that’s a great idea!” 

“If we take over the pool can I be a lifeguard?” Combeferre asked, trying to wipe the fog off of his prescription goggles. 

“No fair, I want to be the lifeguard!” Joly pouted, crossing his arms. 

“Yeah, Joly should be the lifeguard!” Bossuet agreed. Joly would be a great lifeguard, and then if Joly was the lifeguard they could convince Musichetta to come to the pool someday.

“Guys, no, we’re getting rid of the lifeguards!” Enjolras said, frustrated, “Don’t you get it? We’re overthrowing their authority.”

“What?” Bahorel asked. Feuilly shot him a grateful look, not wanting to ask what the hell Enjolras was talking about and look like an idiot. 

Enjolras sighed and pointed to the sign. They’d been made to read it a million times by Javert, a list of the pool rules. At the bottom, though, it said “The lifeguard has authority over this pool.”

“We’re gonna have a revolution so we don’t have to listen to their authority.” Enjolras said, sounding exasperated. 

“That’s a great idea!” Marius, who had just moved here a couple weeks ago, chimed in. 

“I think it’s a terrible idea.” Grantaire said, rolling his eyes. 

“What do you mean? This is a good idea!” Enjolras argued. 

“Our parents are never going to let us do this.” Grantaire pointed out, “And besides, the lifeguards will just ban us from the pool, like that guy.” He pointed to Jean Valjean, who was teaching Cosette how to float. 

“Oh, you just need to lighten up, Taire.” Joly said, splashing him. “We’ll be fine.” 

“So tomorrow, we do this.” Enjolras said, and as he began to plan their little revolution, Gavroche, who was no older than five, bounced over to them through the water. 

“Hey, hey, guys!” Gavroche said, getting their attention. “Guys!” 

“Yeah?” Courfeyrac asked, looking at the little kid. He had three little sisters, so he wasn’t bothered by the child like the others were. 

“Lemarque isn’t going to be teaching swim lessons tomorrow! I heard Javert talking about it.” The kid said, struggling with some of the big words, but getting the meaning of what he was saying out. 

“Awesome!” Enjolras said, fist pumping the air, “That means we have more time for the revolution!” 

… 

On the ride home from the pool, Valjean asked Cosette what her little friends were talking about that had them so excited. She really liked playing with Eponine, the only other kid not in swim lessons, and Marius, the new kid. 

“They’re going to have a mutiny against Javert!” The girl cheered, excitedly. 

“A mutiny?” Valjean asked, laughing, “Sounds fun!” 

“Uh huh! It’s going to be tomorrow and they’re going to make these huge bear-walls.” She said happily. 

“Bear-walls?” 

“The boy with the goggles said they were some type of bear, but the big one said that they were actually a wall.” Cosette said matter-of-factly. 

“Barricade?” Valjean asked, glancing at her in the rearview mirror.

“Yeah! Bear cage! We’re gonna build a bear cage.” Cosette said. Jean Valjean considered this and sighed. 

“You can’t help them build their bear cage.” He said, and when she looked like she was going to protest he put his hand up, “No, Cosette, you’re not. We can watch, but you’re not going to help.”

“But Papa! Marius will get kicked out! They’ll all get kicked out if I don’t help them!” Cosette protested. Valjean sighed again. 

“Alright, Cosette, how about this. I’ll help them a little, but you must sit on the sides.” He said, compromising. 

“But Papa, you’ll get kicked out again!” Cosette protested. He gave her a look in the mirror. It was this or nothing. “Fine Papa. Thank you.” 

“And do not tell your mother about this until tomorrow. If she knows I’m helping little hooligans she’d have a heart attack.” Valjean said with a weak laugh. Fantine was going to have his head for this. 

… 

Javert honestly wasn’t supposed to be lifeguarding this summer. He had been promoted to head of the Aquatics department, but what with all the normal kids going to college in the summer and Lemarque retiring, he had to pick up the slack until they got more kids trained. 

He was almost certain that this one guy with a kid was Valjean, but he was so tired from countless shifts that he sort of didn’t care anymore. He did care, but he didn’t actively care as he once had. 

The next day, when swim lessons are supposed to be taking place, all the normal swim lesson kids arrive at the pool. Their parents generally leave them there and retreat to the sweet air conditioning of the Community Center, so the only people there are the kids and some lap swimmers. 

Javert tried to stop a couple parents to tell them that the swim instructor wasn’t there today, but they don’t listen. He shrugs it off, they probably need a break from the little brats. 

No other employees were in the pool, except for one lifeguard who was going on a date later and did NOT want to get wet. She was sitting by the food cart until they were to change shifts. Honestly there should have been more guards on duty, but JAvert was sure he could keep control by himself.

The pool is quiet for a bit, aside from the kids talking amongst themselves. Today might actually not be that bad. 

… 

“MARIUS!” Enjolras yelled at the kid who was eating ice cream with Cosette on the side of the pool. 

“What?” Marius called back, almost done with his ice cream. Cosette giggled. 

“Hurry up! We’ve got to get started!” Enjolras yelled again, crossing his arms. 

“I’m almost done!”

“Hurry!” 

“I’m going as fast as I can!” 

Finally he just gave up, throwing the last bit of his Dora The Explorer ice cream stick in the trash. 

“Oh wow.” Cosette said, as Marius jumped into the pool. 

“Truly a sacrifice.” Jean Valjean agreed. 

… 

“Now that we’re all here, we can start.” Enjolras said, grabbing some of the lead weights. “We’ve got to put these on the kickboards, around the play tower. Then they won’t float away and we’ll still be in the water so our parents can’t get us.” 

“What about the lifeguards?” Feuilly asked. He hadn’t gotten to listen to the whole plan yesterday, since his mom took him home early. 

“We spray them with these!” Courfeyrac said, producing a bag of water guns. “The pretty one doesn’t want to get wet. And the mean on has to stand in his spot because he has to watch the adults swim.” 

“What Courf said.” Enjolras said, nodding. “Ready?” 

“This is stupid.” Grantaire said, taking his box of grape juice and heading for the tower, going to hide in the tunnel. 

“What is his problem?” Enjolras asked, glaring after him. 

Joly and Bossuet shared a glance, but shrugged. 

“Whatever, ignore him.” Combeferre said, shaking his head, “We’ve got to start.”

“Alright. First we build in secret. When they ask what we’re doing then we attack.” Enjolras said, and they began to build. 

… 

Jean Valjean was impressed with the feat of architecture taking place before his eyes. For children with little to no knowledge on how to build anything they were surprisingly good. When Javert was distracted, Valjean grabbed a couple armfuls of stuff to help them. 

“Thank you citizen!” The small blond one said, much to Valjean’s amusement. He swallowed a laugh and saluted, causing the kid to grin in pride. 

Valjean retreated to sit next to Cosette once more, for fear of dying from containing his laughter. The little girl who normally hung out with Cosette was there for a moment, before slipping away to help the boys. 

“I told her to tell Marius that we wanted to have dinner with him. Can we have Marius over for dinner?” Cosette asked. 

“Well, I guess since you already offered.” Valjean said, with a dramatic, put-upon sigh. Cosette giggled. 

… 

Enjolras pretended not to notice Grantaire helping them build the barricade. Every time the other boy thought someone might be noticing him reinforcing their structure he would hide back in his tunnel. 

Javert noticed the barricade when it was almost to the top of Jehan’s head. 

“Hey kids, what in god’s name are you doing?” The man yelled, standing from his chair. He’d noted their activities long before, but he thought it was some sort of game, not them stealing all his supplies. 

“We’re having a revolution!” Enjolras yelled, causing his friends to cheer behind him. Grantaire retreated into his tunnel with his juice for good now. 

“A what?” Javert yelled, eyebrows raised.

“A revolution!”

“Stop!” Javert yelled, “Put all the toys back!” 

“Never!” Courfeyrac yelled, defiantly, spraying some water into the air. 

Javert looked up to the sky, as if asking god for help. His back was not what it once was, he was getting too old for this shit. 

The other guard came over reluctantly. “Do you need help?” She asked. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t ask, but my back.” Javert said, feeling a little useless. The girl sighed. 

“Well. At least I can tell a good story.” She said, walking into the shallow water. 

She was immediately hit in the face by water as the kids hid behind their tower. 

“You’ll never take us alive!” Bahorel yelled, splashing her fiercely with his board. 

The guard sighed sadly at her soaked self, and reached out to grab one of the kids. Marius tried desperately to get away, and had almost given up, given in to being taken out of the pool, but Eponine cried “NO!” and dove between them, getting grabbed by the guard. 

“Ponine!” Gavroche yelled from where he hid, about to try to help her. Courfeyrac held him back. 

“Marius! I forgot to tell you, Cosette wanted you to come over for dinner!” Eponine yelled as she was taken away, “Shoot the guard! Don’t worry about me, I’m already wet, it’ll be like rain!” 

Feuilly saluted her and started shooting, soaking the guard even more. 

The guard deposited Eponine next to Cosette and stalked over to Javert. 

“I’m going to get their parents.” She said, sounding pissed, and walked away. 

Javert sighed and walked as close to their little barricade without losing sight of the rest of the oblivious swimmers. 

“Gavroche.” Marius said, beckoning the boy to himself. “Can you take a message to Cosette?” 

“Sure.” The kid said, wanting to check on his sister anyways. 

“Tell her ‘yes, I do want to come to dinner.’”

“Got it.” Gavroche said, running off to deliver his message and ignoring Javert’s yells for him to walk. 

“I’ve got a message for Cosette.” The kid said to Valjean. 

“I’m her dad. She and Eponine just went to the locker room for a minute.” Valjean said, “You can tell me.”

“Marius says he wants to come to dinner.” Gavroche said, “Can I have a chip?” he asked, pointing at Valjean’s lunch. 

“Of course.” Valjean gave him a couple chips, “You should stay away from that game, you might get in some trouble.” 

“I’ll be fine!” The kid assured, shoving the food in his mouth and running back to the pool. 

Some of the weights had been dislodged in the other guard’s struggle for the girl, and they were floating towards Javert. Gavroche noticed after he told Marius that he told Cosette the message and decided that since he was small and fast he could get them. 

“Gavroche, no!” Courfeyrac yelled, when he noticed the small boy getting dangerously close to Javert. Combeferre held him down. 

“Got you!” Javert cried, triumphant, as he picked up the kid. “Sit by your sister. We’ve called your parents.”

“Not like they care.” The kid pouted, but he headed back over to Valjean to wait for his sister. 

The other guard came back out now, followed by some furious looking parents. 

“Jean Prouvaire!” Jehan’s mom yelled. Jehan cringed at the use of his full name. “Get out right now.” 

Jehan looked at his friends. Gavroche yelled from the sidelines, “Long live the revolution!” 

“Long live the revolution!” Jehan echoed, shooting his mother with water. She shrieked and grabbed him, dragging him out of the water. 

“You are in so much trouble.” The woman scolded, “I don’t know if you’re ever going to be allowed back here.”

Bossuet’s father came into the water next, having taken off his shirt and shoes for hear of getting them wet. He grabbed his son from behind the makeshift barricade, though he was getting soaked by Courfeyrac’s super soaker, and Joly tried valiantly to hang onto his friend, only succeeding in accidentally pulling Bossuet’s trunks down. 

“Lesgles, you are in some deep trouble.” The man said, taking his son away to apologize to the lifeguards. 

Feuilly’s foster mom got really soaked, her makeup dripping down her face, when she finally got ahold of her kid. 

“We can’t afford these lessons if you’re just going to be a brat.” She said, using his towel on herself, and when he protested that she said, “Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you shot me with a water gun.” 

Valjean saw Marius’s grandfather coming. He’d had a conversation with the man once before and knew that the man was very strict. He rushed into the water and grabbed Marius, who didn’t resist when he saw that he was being taken out by Cosette’s father. 

“Your grandfather is coming.” Valjean said, offering the kid one of the pool’s towels. Marius took it and sat next to Gavroche to wait for Cosette and Eponine to get out of the bathroom. 

The girls were just in time to see Bahorel’s dad lift Bahorel out of the pool. He honestly lifted both Bahorel and Enjolras, as Enjolras was trying to help Bahorel resist, but he gave up, running up the tower with Combeferre, Courfeyrac, and Joly. Bahorel’s dad looked more amused than anything anyways. 

The four stand at the top of the tower, shooting water at Combeferre and Courfeyrac’s mothers and the girl lifeguard, before Combeferre, Courfeyrac, and Joly are all taken simultaneously. 

Enjolras stood at the top of the tower, alone, watching as his friends were scolded. Then, he saw the most dangerous thing in his life, his mother coming at him, not even taking off her nice heels as she stalked into the water. 

Enjolras felt cold fear grip his heart. “Oh no.” He whispered. The lifeguard was approaching from the other side. He was surrounded and his water gun was empty. 

Suddenly, Grantaire was at his side. He’d climbed the tower without anyone’s notice. 

“If they’re taking you, they’ve gotta take me too.” Grantaire said, taking Enjolras’s hand so it would be harder to separate them. 

Enjolras nodded. 

“Julien, you are in some deep shit.” Enjolras’s mother said in a dangerous tone. Enjolras almost gave up and just went to her, but Grantaire clutched his hand tighter. 

“Long live the revolution!” he yelled, and his mother tugged him away from Grantaire, despite his struggle, as the lifeguard did the same to Grantaire on the other side. 

… 

After all the kids were out, Javert told the parents to take them home. Enjolras’s mom ended up taking Grantaire home too, as his parents weren’t supposed to pick him up for another two hours-the reason he hadn’t wanted to participate in their little revolution. 

Marius’s grandfather let him go home with Valjean and Cosette as a treat, since he “hadn’t been in on the shenanigans.” Eponine and Gavroche ended up tagging along as well, since they were in the same predicament as Grantaire. 

When Valjean arrived home with four kids instead of the usual one, she just raised her eyebrows and asked if they all liked pizza. Over pizza the kids told her the tale of the June Rebellion. 

“We should have Javert over.” Fantine said afterwards. Apparently all the children had been issued the same lifetime ban. “Talk this over like adults.” She glared slightly at Valjean, who had just avoided the man for the better part of fifteen years. 

“Of course, dear.” Valjean sighed. 

“Did I tell you?” Marius asked Cosette, remembering something, “Your dad saved my life! He pulled me out before my grandpa got there!” 

“Really? Wow, Papa! You’re a hero!” She cheered, and Eponine just rolled her eyes and took more pizza. 

… 

A week later, Fantine had Javert over for pizza and a talk, and they rescinded Jean Valjean and all of the kids’ lifetime bans. 

… 

June, 2015. Enjolras was lifeguarding at the same pool while Grantaire floated around on an inner tube, annoying him every once in awhile. 

“Lifeguard, I’m drowning, take your shirt off and rescue me!” Grantaire yelled. 

“Shut the hell up, Grantaire!” Enjolras yelled back, turning as red as his shorts. They’d started dating a couple months back, but he didn’t sign up to get harassed at work. 

“Down with authority!” Came a yell from the old tower. Enjolras sighed as he saw Eponine and Gavroche’s little brothers standing at the top of the tower, trying to recreate the revolution. 

They did this every other week. Enjolras steeled himself to get into the water and stalked towards them, while Grantaire laughed from behind him. 

“Watch the pool.” Enjolras growled at his boyfriend, despite the other man’s lack of lifeguard skills. 

Javert peered out his window from the main building and laughed as he watched Enjolras get shot in the face with a super soaker. Served him right. 

He glanced at all the stupid pictures from Valjean and Fantine’s, scattered in frames all over his desk. Almost all of them featured at least two of the little troupe of friends as they grew up. 

Enjolras was yelling loud enough to wake the dead as Grantaire laughed just as loud. Javert chuckled again. Served them right.


End file.
